Wednesday, September 14, 2011

"Sleep Gone Bad" aka Days 168 - 173

Yup!  That's me doing PULL UPS!! 
Sometimes I wonder how I get myself into these things....on Saturday, I will be competing with 100s of other Louisiana Crossfitters in a workout fundraiser called Fight Gone Bad.  I am concerned. worried. nervous. scared. TERRIFIED!!!! I  cannot sleep at night because I am so scared. It would be one thing if I had done any kind of sport before but I really haven't.  I have never had an audience when doing something physical.  And yes, I am proud of myself for my success.  But, to a stranger watching, I am still the biggest girl at the gym.....and from 11:30am - 11:47am on Saturday, everyone will be watching me struggle through a grueling workout.  I know I have to face my fears though....the money goes to the families of fallen soldiers.  As tough as Saturday will be for me, it will never compare to what these wives, moms, children, brothers, sisters, dads, cousins....are going through.  I will be there on Saturday without a moment's hesitation.

Sooo...gluten free shopping has gotten alot easier at my neighborhood grocery store - Albertsons!  I know that gluten free does not mean paleo, but it sure is a step in the right direction.  Just about everything is labeled - gluten really does seem to be in everything!

see ya later fat clothes!
Over the last couple of weeks, Jason and I have been really cleaning out our closets - trying to get rid of the junk we haven't used in years.....stuff we don't need.  Well, I finally did what I have been wanting to do for a couple weeks.  I got rid of all of my clothes that are now too big for me - 5 trash bags of clothes were donated to the Salvation Army!!!  I thought about burning some of it in our outdoor fireplace...but figured it would be better off if other people had an opportunity to wear them.  Getting rid of these clothes has helped me feel really committed.  There is no going back. I WILL NOT go back.

Thank you Albertsons!!
Workouts have been good - I feel like I am really being pushed to my limits.  I have upped my running and am now going a total of 1.375 miles (as of today!) on Monday/Weds/Friday and doing a mile on Tues/Thurs/ and sometimes Saturday.  I did my first set of pull ups that were all arm strength - no jumping from the ground.  It was one of those want to cry I am so excited but I can't because everyone will think I am a dork kind of moments. 7 days I will have been doing the paleo/crossfit lifestyle for 1/2 of a year!  AMAZING!  That means that on September 20th, the 6 month countdown to my 1 year goal begins!!!


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1 comment:

  1. we all judge ourselves too harshly. no matter what size i've been, and no matter what state of health i was in, it was never good enough because i always looked at the other girls who were skinnier, tanner, prettier, etc. than me. i remember starting this self abuse by the time i was 8 years old. maybe sooner. as a freshman in HS and then again when i came to boston for college, i was like 114lb and size 4. and you know what? i still thought i wasn't good enough weight wise. when i got married and had got myself in really good shape, even though i wasn't my "ideal" weight...i still didn't feel good enough, skinny enough, etc. and it's ridiculous. don't take away from your great success here and accomplishments these past months (nearly 6!) by imagining what outside observers will be thinking/saying. you deserve better than that from yourself. you look great, you feel so much better, YOU know how far you've come, and you're the one that's out there doing it. there's always going to be someone thinner, taller, more petite, tanner, more muscled, more smart, etc...they don't matter. YOU do. now get out there and keep kicking ass. you look fabulous! so very proud of you!