Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Days 161 and 162 aka WEIGH IN DAY!! aka times are a changing!

Yup, I just ran a mile and did a WOD!
Well, I finally weighed in again and I lost 7 pounds!  That brings my total up to 67 pounds which leaves me only 51 pounds left to reach my (current) final goal of reaching normal BMI in one year!  I am so incredibly excited!

Today, thanks to my Crossfit running buddy, Candice, I upped the distance and ran 1.25 miles!  That is so unbelievable to me!  I'm hoping that in a week or two I will be up to 1.5!  I am determined to run the 5k on March 10, 2012 so my training has to be in full swing!

This morning at Geaux Crossfit, my fabulous trainer Amber asked me to think about how I have changed since losing all of this weight.  Sooo...I thought I would create a list:

1. The back pain I have suffered for years (and tried to treat with massage and physical therapy) is gone.
2. Even though I get up earlier and am doing more physical activity, I am less tired.
3. I have muscles.  Seriously...sometimes I will go to scratch my leg or something, I am startled by the firmness of certain body parts!
4. my feet no longer ache.  They ached pretty much all the time.  If I went to the mall shopping sometimes I couldn't to the whole was too painful.  Now, much to my husband's dismay, I have no problem spending the whole day shopping!!
5. my stomach is no longer red with pain.  Seriously.  I was at the biggest sizes in the store and they were still tight.  By the end of the day, I had a ring around my waist from my pants rubbing.  Not only is that totally embarrassing but it also hurt.  Some days the skin would be rubbed off to the point where it was an open sore.
6. my kids don't exhaust me.  As much.  I think a 2 year old and 4 year old can exhaust even the fittest person.  But I am so happy that I can play, really play with them.  I can get down on the floor, I can run around the backyard, I can walk with them to the park. 

primal eating = YUM!
A lot of people don't know this, but I suffered from postpartem depression.  I didn't seek treatment after I had Abby and I think Jason was really the only one who knew.  2 years later, I had Lucas and it really spun out of control.  There were some days when I couldn't even get out of bed.  I was a horrible mother and my marriage suffered dearly.  I really think that if I did not find Crossfit, our marriage may have gotten to the point of no return.  Thank God Jason stuck threw all of it with me.  When you are not happy with yourself it is so hard to accept the love of others.  I was body weight made me uncomfortable and tired.  I never wanted to go out with Jason's friends because I was embarrassed for him.  I felt bad for my brothers and my parents...I thought everyone was talking about my weight behind my back.  And, knowing my family, they probably were..haah  But seriously, it is so hard to understand what being obese feels like to someone that never has been overweight.  It makes no sense. You are miserable because you are fat...and that feeling of misery makes you eat.  Then you feel depressed for eating and then you would feel miserable again...and so on.  It is sick, really.  I would eat in my room by myself with the doors clothes.  And I am not talking about just a few cookies...I am talking about the type of binging you see in the movies.  I cannot believe that was me just 162 days ago!

Now, I really do feel great!  Of course, we all have our moments.  It is aggravating to lose 60+ pounds and still have to shop at the fat lady stores.  But, for the first time,  I feel strong - both physically and mentally.  This is my mission and I know I will reach my goal.  And, probably even more importantly, I will then set another running a further distance, or bench pressing more weight, or actually doing a squat. ha

I will weigh in again in 20 days.  At the halfway point...when 6 months are done and I have 6 months to go!

Want to know what I've been eating? Check out my food log at:

Monday, August 29, 2011

Days 154 - 160...aka...sooo incredibly tired!

I am exhausted.  I'm not going to lie.  It isn't even 8pm yet and I am already in bed forcing myself to stay awake long enough to write. I have NEVER been a napper and now...well now...when the kids take their naps on Saturday...I have a hard time not having a rest myself.

Running 5-6 days in addition to crossfitting has wiped me out.  There have been days, like this morning, where it is a real struggle to get myself out of bed.  Thank goodness for the folks at Geaux Crossfit to keep me focused.  I have been meeting a fellow crossfitter, Candace, in the mornings to run a mile before the WOD.  After our run today we did a WOD call Tabata.  When I read it the night before, I actually didn't think it would be that bad.  But, man, it was brutal:

Workout of the DayWork up to 1 heavy set of 3 Deadlift (125 pounds!!)

Then Tabata:

-Sit Ups (with abmat)
-Push Ups (I did super modified)
-Double Unders (I did singles)
Tabata is 20 seconds of work followed by 10 seconds of rest for 8 rounds.  The score is the lowest number of repetitions you get on any of the 8 rounds.  You will receive a 1 minute break between stations.

Unfortunately, I cannot remember all my times.  I think I did 7 squats, 8 something sit ups, 5 push ups, and 32 singles....

Watermelon on a Stick...Paleo lollipop!
So, after today's 1 mile run AND crazy WOD, I was ready to go into work to tell Kelly P. to forget about our 1 mile run tomorrow.  And then Amber wrote a post for her blog that focuses on my journey.  It made me sit at my desk and cry like a baby!  The quote that, really, really gave me the motivation I needed to get focused for tomorrow's run was "She is a fine example of the discipline and will power it takes to be healthy."  Amber was talking about ME!!!  I am a fine example of health?  Is Hell freezing over?  Seriously?  That is amazing to me.  What Amber doesn't understand is the fact that my success IS because of her and the other folks at Geaux Crossfit.  She keeps me motivated, has always treated me with respect, has the ability to scale the WODS so I don't feel embarrassed in front of my peers, celebrates my successes with me.... I honestly feel so lucky! 

You can read her blog at:
Happy Paleoversary!

Eating has been going well - the weekends are hard.  But it has been so much easier since Jason has joined the Paleo bandwagon!  For his two week paleoversary (yes, I made up this word), I made him some lamb chops with a big ole salad.... I have continued to spend Sundays cooking for the week.  Yesterday included - paleo chicken and squash curry with cauliflower rice, sausage and peppers and onions, tilapia with steamed veggies, and hard boiled eggs.  That will be enough food to get us through for most of the week!

Two days till weigh-in!  I hope it goes well....I want to lose 15 pounds before my brother's weddings (Oct. 15) and..100 pounds by January and.....gulp...118 pounds by the end of March!  I know those are some major goals...seriously.  Can I lose 118 pounds in one year?  Amber seems to think so.  And because she does, so do I! 

Time for sleep so I can get up and run tomorrow morning!

Want to know what I've been eating? Check out my food log at:

Monday, August 22, 2011

Days 149 - 153...aka..its all routine

Post Geaux Crossfit WOD
 This last week has felt really good - I've been Geaux Crossfitting on Monday/Wednesday/Friday and running a mile with Kelly P. on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. My body is constantly a little achy and I LOVE it!  Geaux Crossfit has changed a lot since I started 153 days ago...there are more females!  It is fabulous!  I am so proud of us girls getting stronger with the help of trainer Amber. 

Paleo Grocery Cart
My eating has been really great.  Now that Jason has joined in on the Paleo fun, I find myself more inspired to be prepared and ready for every meal.  Sunday is my big cook day...this Sunday included many, many hard boiled eggs, Mexican chicken, lean hamburger steaks, t-bones, ham, carrots, asparagus, zucchini, and summer squash.  Hopefully, it's enough food to last for breakfasts and lunches until is exhausting spending my Sunday in the kitchen, often with the kids "helping" me cook...but after 153 days, I have learned that my success depends on how prepared I am.

Lunch=meat with a side of meat
Kelly P. and I were talking about food today.  It's funny..when things are stressful, we still both want to eat.  It really doesn't even matter what we eat...we just want to shove food down our throats until we feel like we are gonna burst.  How sick is that?  Seriously......sooo...I got a big bag of assorted nuts in the the kind our grandmas used to have at their houses - hazelnuts, Brazil nuts, almonds, is an effort to crack the shell and get to the nut.  It takes time...and that has totally helped with my snacking.  Nuts are paleo but it is way to easy to throw a handful in your mouth and just eat them up without thinking about it....I kinda feel like my weight loss is close to a plateau so I'm doing my best to manage my calories!

grilling up some meat
My brother's wedding is in 54 days...I am so close to being able to fit into my goal dress!  If I can just lose a few more pounds......I am starting to wonder how much weight I need to lose to hit goal...I looked it up online and I figured out that I need to lose 58 more pounds in order to have a normal or healthy BMI.  If that is true, it will mean I'm already more than halfway there compared to my starting weight!  At one time I would have been totally overwhelmed with the idea of having to lose 58 pounds..but now I feel like it will just be a matter of much time?  I don't know. 

So far it has worked for me to focus on small goals.  So my next goal is to lose 15 more pounds by my brother's wedding on October 15.  54 days...15 pounds. 

Want to know what I've been eating? Check out my food log at:

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Days 143 - 148...aka Bethany the BEAST has appeared

Me in "Beast" Mode
I don't know why, but the pity party I was feeling for myself on Wednesday turned into motivation to push myself harder by Friday.  After Friday's WOD, my fabulous trainer Amber told me I was a beast at Geaux Crossfit....haha...I really do not want to admit this but Amber has pushed me to a point where I am actually enjoying to run.  Last week I committed to running on the days I don't do Crossfit -  Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday....but I have also been getting up early and running the mile BEFORE the WOD too...I cannot believe it - I ran over 6 miles last week!  I never thought I could do it!  When I started Crossfit, I couldn't even run one lap around the building (200 meters) but today I realized that I didn't even start to have any shortness of breath until about the 1/2 mile point....I am so curious to see how this extra cardio will affect my weight loss.  I have decided to put off my weigh in for an extra week.
Moment of Weakness...

pork stir fry = breakfast

Food is, and probably always will be, a struggle.  I have recently been reinspired though because my husband Jason has decided to give Paleo a try!  He started on Saturday and has done really well - even on his poker night he avoided garlic bread, shrimp fettuccine, and cheesecake!  Wowo!  That is some will power!  I do feel like I have been really critical of myself.  But as this really does become more of a lifestyle and less of a diet plan, I am realizing that the occasional slip up is's just how you handle it afterwards.  I am trying hard to not let one mistake spiral into a day of mistakes.

bye bye sushi....hello sashimi!
My body is exhausted - my problems sleeping are definitely problems no more.  I actually think that I have worn out my about 5 months!  Usually my sneakers last 5 years..haha's time for me to start making some goals...yes, I want to lose 100 pounds by January.  But I also want to run a 5k...I want to be able to RX some WODs.  I want to be able to do a pull up.  And a box jump.  And a double under...and a f-ing squat....

Running out the door of Geaux Crossfit......


Want to know what I've been eating? Check out my food log at:

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Days 141 & 142...aka...emotional roller coaster...aka crying in public once again

Lately, I would say that about 90% of the time I am really proud of myself and what I have accomplished during these 142 days.  Usually the WODS at Geaux Crossfit make me leave feeling strong and able to conquer the world.....

Then there are WODS like the one I did on Wednesday....they put me back in my place....they bring me down a couple notches.  They make me realize I am still very far away from my ultimate goal - to be healthy and strong.

Kona has a great gluten free menu!
I tried hard to not talk about how I was pretend like I was still flying high....then I had dinner with my fabulous trainer and friend Catherine, the one who helped me begin this journey.  We met at Kona Grill (where it is very easy AND delicious to eat paleo...if you ask for the gluten free menu) and by the end of the night I was confessing my true feelings while crying into my napkin.  It was not pretty. 

So Wednesday's WOD was:

Shoulder Press 5-5-5 (I did 55 pounds)
WOD TIME: 20:59
4 Rounds For Time:
-10 Burpees (I did 5 with no clapping)
-25 M Walking Lunge
-15 Slam Balls (I did 20 pounds)
-25 M Walking Lun7+-9ge
-20 Squats w/ Slam Ball

All this exercise = sooo tired
When I looked at it on Tuesday, I remember thinking it wouldn't be so bad.  I was so wrong.  The problem with WODs like this is that I feel like I can't do any of the exercises right because I'm too fat. I know I have lost a lot of weight and have come so far and blah blah blah...but the truth is that I cannot do a burpee or a lunge or a squat.  I feel miserable doing them and know I look like an idiot.  Lunges make my knees hurt like only people that have been (or are) fat can understand.  It was miserable..and, to top it all off, I am mad at myself because I let it get to me.  I could have done better but, by Round 2, I already felt defeated....I HATE it!  I have lost 60 pounds and am still the biggest one at the gym....UGH...

Finished our 1st mile run!
But I am, after all, on a roller coaster...soooo when I am down I have to look at the positives.  Before that workout on Weds. I fulfilled my commitment and got to Geaux Crossfit a bit early so I could run a mile BEFORE the WOD.  And then, this morning, I left the comfort of my bed bright and early to meet Kelly P for our first of (hopefully) many 1 mile runs....

Tomorrow is another WOD..hopefully the kind that makes me cry out of pride and not defeat....I know that I have pushed my body to its limits these last couple of days - I am exhausted and my muscles are killing me.  But if I don't go back tomorrow...I know I will never have the strength to conquer these WODS that are trying to break me.  I know this is insane but it almost feels like a that WOD represented me facing my fears.  And I am trying to remain focused on me actually winning the battle next time...instead of me crying (very loudly) in the middle of a crowded restaurant.

Want to know what I'm eating?  Check out my food logs at:

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Days 139 and 140 - Official Declaration of Even MORE INSANITY!

My husband is finally home from fishing with his buddies at Grand Isle which means I can to go Geaux Crossfit tomorrow morning!  I checked out the WOD and it is not something I am totally scared of ....which is a good thing....

I have been emailing/texting/facebooking (hows that for support?  pretty amazing, huh? ) with my fabulous trainer Amber and she gave me the friendly and gentle nudge (or should I say stern push) that I needed to step my exercise up some.

When I first started at Geaux Crossfit, I could only workout once or twice a week and then was sore (like someone help me off the toilet sore) for a week afterwards.  Now I still have some aches and pains but, truthfully, if my schedule allowed, I could go everyday.

But, alas, life gets in the way.  Because of work/school/child schedules, going 3 times a week is already a burden on my family.  I cannot ask them to add a few more days into the mix.  So, I went over my schedule and realized that I can run from 5:30am - 6:00am on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays without upsetting any family member's schedule or routine.  So, my public declaration is that I will continue to attend Geaux Crossfit 3 times a week AND run one mile at least 2 (goal is 3) additional days.  I never even considered the possibility that I could run a mile.  But Amber was so nonchalant about big deal.  Just run a mile a few times a week....and then I brought it up to my wonderful friend/colleague and neighbor Kelly P.  I said it almost jokingly...can't believe Amber suggested way could I do that.... and when I looked at Kelly P. to agree that it was an insane idea she said, "Sounds good.  If we leave our houses to meet up at 5:30am, I will have enough time to get home and ready for work."  Soooo....Kelly P. and I are starting on Thursday!  We calculated a 1 mile route from our meeting point....and we are ready to begin!!
It's like Picasso captured Kelly P. and I on our first run!!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Days 129 - 138 aka WEIGH IN DAY aka Lost my Inspiration

Can you guess which is my new license?
Soooo it has been over a week since I last weighed in and decided to do so this morning.  As of 7:30am today I have lost 60 pounds!  I cannot believe it!  Only 40 pounds till my next big goal of 100 by January - INSANE!!

I know this should inspire me but the truth is, it doesn't.  I have not written for awhile because I feel completely uninspired.  These last few weeks have been tough because they have been without routine- I've been traveling for work and for vacation, Kelly P. my paleo partner, has been out of the office for different work obligations, and I have not been able to go to Geaux Crossfit regularly.  I can't remember the last week that my schedule allowed me to workout my promised minimum of 3 times.  And I keep on cheating more and more - a bit of cheese, a few m&ms, a (gluten free) brownie, a few bites of rice...etc, etc, etc.  The more I get away from Paleo, the more sluggish and less inspired I feel (not to mention disgusting and gassy).
Day 138 - 60 pounds loss!

Day 5 - less than 5 months ago

Truth is, I know the secret to my success is going to Geaux Crossfit as much as possible.  When I go a few times a week my mind and body are focused and thinking "game on."  The WODS inspire me to think of food as fuel.  I know I can workout on my own but it doesn't happen.  I was just in Grand Isle with my family and planned to run on the beach every morning.  I didn't do it once.  When you spend the night sharing a twin bed with your four year old who gets you up every hour to see if it is time to go to the beach to catch "crabbies" you kinda lose your umph.

Jason is still at Grand Isle having a well-deserved weekend with the guys which means I can't go to Geaux Crossfit because I am home with the kids....who want to eat frozen yogurt....and macaroni and cheese....and hummus with pita bread....

Sooo...Wednesday will be when I can return to the gym and, hopefully, regain my inspiration.  I never thought a gym membership would mean so much...but it does.  I am now 100% sure that this journey is not one I can face alone or even with the (amazing) support of my friends and family.  I need Geaux Crossfit.  I want to be their biggest success story. I want to get to a point where I can inspire my fellow members as much as they inspire me everyday.  I swear, someday I will be fit enough so I can run the extra few laps with someone that doesn't feel like s/he can get through the WOD.  I owe it to them. 

60 pounds loss = more energy to play with my kids!