Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Days 161 and 162 aka WEIGH IN DAY!! aka times are a changing!

Yup, I just ran a mile and did a WOD!
Well, I finally weighed in again and I lost 7 pounds!  That brings my total up to 67 pounds which leaves me only 51 pounds left to reach my (current) final goal of reaching normal BMI in one year!  I am so incredibly excited!

Today, thanks to my Crossfit running buddy, Candice, I upped the distance and ran 1.25 miles!  That is so unbelievable to me!  I'm hoping that in a week or two I will be up to 1.5!  I am determined to run the 5k on March 10, 2012 so my training has to be in full swing!

This morning at Geaux Crossfit, my fabulous trainer Amber asked me to think about how I have changed since losing all of this weight.  Sooo...I thought I would create a list:

1. The back pain I have suffered for years (and tried to treat with massage and physical therapy) is gone.
2. Even though I get up earlier and am doing more physical activity, I am less tired.
3. I have muscles.  Seriously...sometimes I will go to scratch my leg or something, I am startled by the firmness of certain body parts!
4. my feet no longer ache.  They ached pretty much all the time.  If I went to the mall shopping sometimes I couldn't to the whole was too painful.  Now, much to my husband's dismay, I have no problem spending the whole day shopping!!
5. my stomach is no longer red with pain.  Seriously.  I was at the biggest sizes in the store and they were still tight.  By the end of the day, I had a ring around my waist from my pants rubbing.  Not only is that totally embarrassing but it also hurt.  Some days the skin would be rubbed off to the point where it was an open sore.
6. my kids don't exhaust me.  As much.  I think a 2 year old and 4 year old can exhaust even the fittest person.  But I am so happy that I can play, really play with them.  I can get down on the floor, I can run around the backyard, I can walk with them to the park. 

primal eating = YUM!
A lot of people don't know this, but I suffered from postpartem depression.  I didn't seek treatment after I had Abby and I think Jason was really the only one who knew.  2 years later, I had Lucas and it really spun out of control.  There were some days when I couldn't even get out of bed.  I was a horrible mother and my marriage suffered dearly.  I really think that if I did not find Crossfit, our marriage may have gotten to the point of no return.  Thank God Jason stuck threw all of it with me.  When you are not happy with yourself it is so hard to accept the love of others.  I was body weight made me uncomfortable and tired.  I never wanted to go out with Jason's friends because I was embarrassed for him.  I felt bad for my brothers and my parents...I thought everyone was talking about my weight behind my back.  And, knowing my family, they probably were..haah  But seriously, it is so hard to understand what being obese feels like to someone that never has been overweight.  It makes no sense. You are miserable because you are fat...and that feeling of misery makes you eat.  Then you feel depressed for eating and then you would feel miserable again...and so on.  It is sick, really.  I would eat in my room by myself with the doors clothes.  And I am not talking about just a few cookies...I am talking about the type of binging you see in the movies.  I cannot believe that was me just 162 days ago!

Now, I really do feel great!  Of course, we all have our moments.  It is aggravating to lose 60+ pounds and still have to shop at the fat lady stores.  But, for the first time,  I feel strong - both physically and mentally.  This is my mission and I know I will reach my goal.  And, probably even more importantly, I will then set another running a further distance, or bench pressing more weight, or actually doing a squat. ha

I will weigh in again in 20 days.  At the halfway point...when 6 months are done and I have 6 months to go!

Want to know what I've been eating? Check out my food log at:

1 comment:

  1. it's pretty awesome that you're not quite halfway through but you're already more than halfway to your goal weight! Your openness about all you've dealt with in physical and emotional struggles and how great you're feeling now are an inspiration!