Saturday, December 29, 2012

Day 1 of Birthday Challenge...My 100th Post

I just haven't been feeling
myself lately....
Well, I had a little fall from my crossfit and paleo lifestyle and I have all the excuses..... started a new job (which I love), sick family members (everyone is fine now), on vacation/travel (not really a good excuse...just didn't prepare they way I should) and now I know it is time to refocus.

Food really is the ultimate battle for me.  I've done a lot of research on food addiction (which I think runs pretty fiercely in my family) and my go to medical expert (web md) says this:

    "Like addictive drugs, highly palatable foods trigger feel-good brain chemicals such as dopamine. Once people experience pleasure associated with increased dopamine transmission in the brain's reward pathway from eating certain foods, they quickly feel the need to eat again.The reward signals from highly palatable foods may override other signals of fullness and satisfaction. As a result, people keep eating, even when they're not hungry."

I cannot imagine how difficult other addictions must be to conquer and I am awed by anyone that can do it successfully..but for me food is my ongoing battle.  I love it so much that I can actually almost rationalize eating anything I want - its a special occasion, I deserve it, it will be my one cheat this week, I've been stressed, blah blah blah.  And seriously, those stupid excuses can somehow outweigh all the negatives of eating unhealthy food - you will feel sick, your clothes won't fit, you won't be able to keep up with your kids, you will feel tired, you will have diabetes, heart disease, your life expectancy will be reduced.   So, when you read those two lists what should win the internal debate??  It's a special occasion so I can have a piece of cake or if I continue to eat this way I will die young.  How can it be so difficult?

I really don't know how....but it is.  everyday it is a fight.  And it is plays a part in even a more horrible cycle - you eat bad, it makes you tired, you skip the gym here and there.  Then you gain more weight and you are embarrassed to go to the gym so you don't and then you gain more weight, and so on and so on....
My trainer Amber - how is that
for inspiration?
But I won't do it again. I can't. I am so incredibly lucky to have my support system at Geaux Crossfit.  When I finally confessed to my amazing trainer and friend Amber she did not act disappointed (although I do think she has every right to be).  Instead she came up with a plan about what "we" need to do over the next couple months....she is willing to continue the journey with me.

So, I am done feeling sorry for myself and ready for action.  I have come up with a goal that I am determined to stick with - starting January 1 2013.  I will lose 36 pounds by my birthday on June 2 (when I turn 36 in case you couldn't figure that out.....).  That gives me 152 days to reach my goal.  And, yes, I have about a million reasons why I won't be successful.... Abby's birthday (twenty 5 years olds in the same room...and cake), Valentine's Day (chocolate), Mardi Gras (King Cake..which will be a hard one - I admit!!), Superbowl (wings, dips, etc...), Groundhog Day (which happens to be my mom's birthday...cake), My dad's birthday (more cake), Luke's birthday (cake), St. Patrick's Day (beer), Easter (delicious dinner/dessert and more chocolate), my wedding anniversary (Port of Call in NOLA would have been my choice.....) Cinco De Mayo (queso), Mother's Day (The Londoner shepherds pie), Memorial Day (bbq), countless conferences, travel, meals out, stressful days, unexpected events, overtired and unprepared days, temptations........ least it will save
my world....
My point is not to convince myself that I won't be successful.  My point is that there is always an excuse...a reason why I should sleep in and not go to the gym.  Or a reason why it is "okay" to eat something that is not good for me.  I am done with this inner battle.  Enough is enough.

So I will start on January 1 by joining a group of guys and gals from Geaux Crossfit to do a 30 day strict paleo challenge.  Then, I will decide what my next move will be in order to reach my 30 day plan at a time.

And, yes.  I will blog.  At least once a week.  It seems that the minute I stop writing about my struggles is the minute I succumb to them.

152 days to go...........


  1. for what it's worth, you inspire me and have (through me) others. food is an addiction for quite a lot of us. in our society the other more immediate harmful addictions (drugs, alcohol, tobacco) have had more of the attention but we cannot ignore it any longer. just because it's more palatable -pun intended- does not mean it's any less dangerous to our health. we're just killing ourselves more slowly and softly.

    i need to lose up to 36 pounds myself. seriously. if i lost 20 i would be ecstatic, though. if i lost 15 and just felt better i would be very happy about that too. so....

    you're not alone. i know i need to change my lifestyle. i know i need some help too. we all do. i would love to see the recipes that you have. to hear about how you're doing. i'm starting the new year off by seeing a nutritionist. something i've been 'meaning to do' for far too long. i

    so if it helps to know, you have company :)

  2. I missed you! I know that's totally strange, but your blog has kept me going when I didn't want to go to crossfit. But like you, once I get into the gym and the 3, 2, 1 go happens I love every minute of it. Please keep blogging. Please keep writing about what you eat. You truly do inspire people.