Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Year 2, Days 17 - 74

Me after Conquering Baseline!

Me after Day 1 Baseline
 Ahhh can be such an emotional roller coaster.  Last week I caught myself grinning like an idiot because, for the first time ever, I completed baseline, the first workout you do when you start Crossfit.  I had a fear of baseline and managed to avoid it for over a year.  On the day I joined Geaux Crossfit I can remember feeling so embarrassed for not being able to do pretty much any of the workout..even a modified version.  The thing is, at that time I had only experienced typical gyms where you are pretty much working out with strangers....I didn't know that the people watching me struggle through that first baseline would end up becoming my support system.  I had no idea I would end up cherishing each and every one of their friendships and thank God on a daily basis for bringing them into my life at just the right time.

After that first day I literally could not walk for days.  I had to pee standing up for about a week because I couldn't go from sitting to standing without someone helping me I had nothing but bad feelings for baseline.  When someone mentioned it, my heart would start to pound and I would feel a little sick to my stomach.  When I saw that it was the WOD for the next day I pretty much had a meltdown followed by a frenzy of panicked texts to Amber, the best trainer a girl could ask for.  She calmed me down and got me ready for baseline.  But then, because of a sleepless night due to a sick kid, I had to miss it.  And I was really depressed about it.  Amber finally helped me gain the confidence to face my fear of baseline and I couldn't do it.  So when I showed up the next day, Amber told me that I was doing baseline even though everyone else was doing something else.  I almost panicked and ran out of the gym screaming but Candace, my Crossfit buddy and amazing friend, volunteered to do it with me.  And yes, my push ups and pull ups are still modified and my squats still kinda suck.  But I did it in 6:05 minutes!!  I almost started crying like a baby...I was so relieved. 

Speaking of crying and crossfit being an emotional roller was one of those days where I wanted to cry out of frustration.... I hate that, after over a year of crossfit I still have these days where I feel inadequate.  We started the day with planks - and I keep trying to remind myself about how much I have improved.  When I started, I couldn't do them at all.  But it seems like everyone else is doing their 1-minute planks gracefully and without a problem while I am shaking and sweating and struggling....then we worked on our handstands and I really, really wanted to try but couldn't work up the nerve to do it in front of everyone.  I have NEVER done a handstand in my life...and I would be so afraid that my shirt would fall down and my stomach would show and that is just so far away from my comfort zone.....So I just stood there like an idiot while everyone else did it.....

Then the WOD was 100 burpees for time...I still cannot do a burpee with correct form so I do a modified version..which makes me totally self conscious and then of course I was last so all eyes were on me while I finished.  Thankfully Candace and Kim stayed with me and supported me until the end but it still sucked.  I had to go sit in front of the fan and concentrate on not crying for a few minutes.....

Ugh....not a great way to start a day...but I did it.  And hopefully I am even just a tiny bit closer to being strong enough to do planks for a longer amount of time and to do a regular burpee....and I spent my car ride to work trying to decide where in my house would be the best place to practice handstands...without Crossfit I can guarantee that I would NEVER have been thinking about that....haha

I am thankful that there are certainly more good days then bad for me at Geaux Crossfit...and it really has changed my life.  For my birthday I got a bike from my parents so I can ride around the neighborhood with Abby.  Going on our first bike ride was AMAZING.....I think riding a bike with her is pretty much the best feeling in the world.  A little over a year ago I don't think I would have been able to do it.  So I guess I will suck it up and hope that tomorrow's WOD makes me feel strong and confident.
Bike Ride Time!!


  1. sweet! and good job! maybe some day i will be inspired and sick of myself enough to get serious about doing something for myself.