Days 314 - 335 aka Who Am I?

I am so happy to be just about done with my 30 day Paleo challenge.  Not that I plan to have an all out carb buffet on March 2 but I will be enjoying some hummus and maybe even a splash of sour cream on my taco salad once in awhile...

I have made a decision that is going to change my day to day actions pretty drastically.  I have an addiction that I need to cure....the scale.  For the last 314 days, there have been very few days that have gone by where I didn't weigh myself at least once (often 2 or 3 times) and I need to stop.  I am aggravated because my weight loss has somewhat stalled and I really don't think it is healthy for me to be reminded of that everyday.  I catch myself getting upset and wanting to say f*ck it and eat some chocolate.  and french fries. and ice cream.......My focus is being the healthiest version of myself as possible both mentally and physically.  I cannot put myself through it anymore.  So, I will try really, really hard to not weigh myself again for 30 days - until I reach my one year milestone.



Besides trying to overcome my abuse of the scale, I have recently become a different person in another way.  I cannot believe I am even saying (or writing) this out loud...I have....have....joined....a....second...gym!!  Holy crap!!  Two gyms?  I never thought I would stick with one gym for a year..... Now, I love Geaux Crossfit and still plan to keep going every M-W-F but I have been thinking about stepping up my cardio for awhile.  I have been running outside a couple times a week but I know that, as it gets warmer, I am no longer going to be able to convince myself to get out of bed while everyone else in my family is asleep in the air conditioned house.  Sooo...I have been thinking about all this and couldn't figure out what to do...until a Planet Fitness opened up less than a mile from my house!  It's only $10 a month and open 24 hours a day!  So my friend Kelly P. and I will be going on my Geaux Crossfit off days!  Planet Fitness is a beautiful facility and everything but there are some weird things that I am having a hard time keeping quiet about.  Okay...so when you walk in, there are big bowls of tootsie rolls at the front desk!  AND there are signs up all over that say "as a thank you to our member the first Monday of the month is pizza night and the second Tuesday of the month is bagel morning!"  Seriously???  So basically, they are promoting people to come in, burn some calories and then put them back on again?  On the Planet Fitness website, I found this quote:

HUH??

"That's more than 1.4 million slices of pizza a year. • We hand out more than a million Tootsie Rolls every month"



And that is something to be proud of?  I am really and truly flabbergasted.  Why don't they offer free nutrition seminars once a month or some sort of Biggest Loser challenge or something...anything...other than free pizza, bagels and candy???



So I guess the moral of my story is that Planet Fitness is a GREAT deal...the machines are awesome...the hours are perfect..etc... but it is only good IF you have some will power.  Luckily, for me, I don't really like tootsie rolls.  Now if the bowls were full of peanut butter cups then I would be totally screwed.  I go in the mornings so I don't have to worry about pizza.  Bagels will be my only temptation.  We will see how it goes on Tuesday!  I hope they are tucked away in some corner and not out in the open for me to see while I am struggling through 30 minutes on the elliptical.  Thank God my Geaux Crossfit family will be waiting for me on Wednesday morning to ask if I gave in to temptation...that will make it easier to say no.

Filming with Rick Portier of WAFB!!

I have to thank Rick Portier at WAFB for taking the time to do a story on my weight loss journey.  There is no better inspiration for sticking to it (especially at restaurants... then knowing that someone might be have seen me on t.v and be watching to see what I am eating...haha..  It was

such a fun and awesome experience!!!  <3





Days 307 - 313 aka PALEO CHALLENGE!!!

 Today is the first day of Geaux Crossfit's 30 day paleo challenge and I am feeling pumped.  These challenges always seem to come just in time...before I fall way off the eating healthy bandwagon.

Is this how cavemen cleaned
their hard boiled eggs??



Of course, Day 1 began with a breakfast meeting at Starbucks.  Between going to Geaux Crossfit in the morning and dropping off Abby at school, I knew I would show up for the meeting starving...which would either cause me to eat something non-paleo or make me very, very grumpy.  So I did what anyone would do..peeled an egg while driving and washed it off in the rain while I was at a red light....it did the trick!  I managed to get through the meeting only consuming a hot, unsweetened tea.  Coffee is going to be the hardest thing for me during these 30 days.  I try and try but just cannot choke it down without some half and half and maybe a bit of splenda...it's only Day 1 and I am already missing my morning coffee...



Back at Geaux Crossfit! 



This is week 2 of being back to Geaux Crossfit after almost a month off and I am loving it.....it's been rough (as in my body kinda feels like I got hit by a car) but I look forward to it so very much...even though some of the WODS are making me feel very aggravated.



 Seriously, it has been almost a year and I still cannot do a squat without looking like an idiot??? It makes me want to scream!! I am just not strong enough to do one without leaning forward....I wish I had counted from day 1 how many squats I've done.  The number would be really high...but not one of them is the correct form...AHHH!!! 

And to make it even more annoying, I just watched the Biggest Loser and Bob had his team to "Fran" which is the same exact WOD I did today...they just started and most of them already have better form then me...damn thrusters!!

I have decided to add planks to my workout regime - I am hoping this will help me strengthen my core so I can actually do a squat. I HATE them!!  HATE THEM!!!

fruit garnish for dinner??

Last week I attended the SMartie (social media) awards.  My blog had multiple nominations and I am very thankful!  The food at the event, though, was sooo bad - macaroni and cheese, jambalaya, fried boudin balls, meat pies, spinach artichoke dip, etc....other than some fruit and veggie garnish there was not much I could eat....seriously, I was nominated for an award because of my blog about my weight struggles and the reward for this nomination was a table full of delicious unhealthy food!!  My fellow Geaux Crossfitter Melody was right when she suggested that anyone with a weight problem stay away from buffets...it can be tough! (check out Melody's blog about fitness/her weight loss story here).

Sooo..Day 1 is almost done!!  Can't wait to see wait Day 2 will bring!!!

Days 285 - 307 aka back to the grind

Finally.  I am finally back into the routine.  Because of my toothpick incident and then a sinus infection, I took nearly a month off from Geaux Crossfit.  And I am amazed about how much my eating slipped as each day passed.  If anything, this break has proven that one of the most important pieces to my getting healthy puzzle is Geaux Crossfit.  I cannot do it alone....I was (barely) able to maintain my weight during my hiatus and know that I was able to start back just in time.  My Geaux Crossfit family welcomed me back with open arms and I am so very, very thankful for it.  I am positive this would have been the end of my getting healthy journey without them.

I can barely walk because my body aches from running (over 2 miles today..thanks to the encouragement of my running buddy Candace!) and the WOD on Monday and Wednesday and I am LOVING it! 

hmmm..king cake or chicken kale paleo soup..
(I chose the soup)

But seriously.....I cannot get over how often I think about food.  It is such an addiction and a mental struggle....by the end of my crossfit break, I was able to rationalize eating some pretty unhealthy food.  I spent so much time thinking that I "deserve" a little treat.  I know that I should be saying I deserve to be healthy and that should be my focus but I am not going to lie and say there is no struggle.  It is an uphill battle. Every single day.  Sometimes I feel like I have to fight my urge to eat unhealthy constantly.  There is always donuts or another goodie in the staff kitchen (not to mention it is King Cake season) brought in by a very generous colleague with the best intentions, or I am running late and want to just go through a drive thru (thank God for Jimmy Johns unwich), or there is no reason.  I just want to eat something delicous and chocolate. 

I am very thankful that Geaux Crossfit is starting a strict 30-day paleo challenge on February 1.  I need it.  I like the idea of committing to 30 days of healthy, clean eating (as opposed to an entire lifetime which can be a bit daunting) and love the support of the many other people doing it.  This is going to be the most strict I have been - we are following the Whole 30 challenge.  Between that and the fact that I am going to run in my first official 5k in 45 days (check out my page), I think I have the motivation I need to lose the 15 pounds I need to reach 100 pounds lost!!  And if that's not enough, I can always count on my fabulous trainer Amber to keep me focused.....

So tomorrow's a new day.  Full of food battles.....and I just have to wake up every day promising myself to fight the good fight and hope I win!

Days 266 - 284 aka outta commission aka time to face the new years resolution

I knew the holidays were going to be hard and I felt like I had really prepared for them mentally.  But my struggle seems to be with the unexpected.  I am not proud of my eating during the last week or so...in fact, I am pretty disgusted.

Poor, sick Abby

I started this holiday break really strongly.  On Friday, December 23 I got up early and, with Kelly Ps support, I ran a 5k..which is about 9 times around the path of the park in my subdivision.  I have such a love/hate relationship with running....I seem to be leaning more towards love lately...

For Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was pretty proud of my eating.  Aside from some delicious chocolate I stuck to some not so bad eating.  Then my four year old, Abigail got sick - fever, cough, congestion.  It has resulted in about a week of very little sleep for me.  Poor Abigail is up every hour or so and has been suffering from some major nose bleeds.  I am either up with her helping her through a coughing spell or I am up checking to make sure she is okay....It's totally not rational....and a lot of my fear for her health during the night is a result of me watching too much Breaking Bad....I am so afraid Abigail will have a bad reaction to the cough medicine she has been prescribed....

Toothpick Injury

So, I am overtired and already struggling with what I am eating. My fridge is full of not so healthy holiday leftovers that I cannot seem to make myself throw away.... then, when I think that I have it all under control, I get an injury that has kept me from exercising.  Somehow, I managed to get a toothpick stuck in my foot so bad, it required a trip to the emergency room where a doctor had to dig it out with a scalpel and then stitch the whole thing up.  I can't even put a shoe on....

not so Happy New Year!!

From my experience I know that my cleanest eating days are on the same day that I go to Geaux Crossfit.  If I thought my eating was bad before...this lack of sleep, stress from a sick child, and injured foot sent me in a downward spiral that I have not experienced since I began this journey 284 days ago.  Feeling tired and depressed is not the equation to living a healthy lifestyle.

Thank God for my family though.  They know just what I need to get refocused - some competition.  My brother, sister in law, mother, father, husband and I started a weight loss challenge today until Valentines Day....the person that loses the most weight gets some cash and bragging rights....I am such a competitive person.....I will do what it takes to win.  Or, at least, not come in last.  I will stay off my foot like the doctor has recommended until I can exercise again.  But starting today, I will return to the Paleo diet in full force. 



80 pounds lost - finally remembered to share photo!

 2012 did not begin the way I had hoped....there were no fireworks or resolutions.....I rang in the new year with my foot bandaged, holding my sick daughter and feeling sorry for myself.  I think I deserve a do over.  It is time to evaluate my life and choose some resolutions:

1. Eating  goals - I will work to put an end to my emotional eating.  If I am eating something that I am ashamed of or don't want anyone to know about, I will put it down and walk away.  I will eat clean, healthy goals and take the time to make sure I'm prepared.

2. Exercise goals - by the end of this year, I will be able to do 10 girl push ups, run a 5k in less than 30 minutes, do squats in perfect form - back, front, overhead, all of them. Just one pull up would make me so happy.....so I will continue to go down in bands until I no longer need them.

3. Mental goals - I will try really hard to celebrate my accomplishments and not just focus on the next goal. 

4. Weight loss goals - I will continue to lose weight so that, by the end of 2012 I will have lost a total of 131 pounds....I am at about 80 now so that's a little over 50 to lose in 2012!

Days 252 - 265 aka Tis the Season aka Mind Over Matter aka Focus, Bethany, FOCUS!



80 Pounds Lost! 

 I am to the point now where exercise is not the problem.  If I could go to Geaux Crossfit everyday, I would.  I am thankful that my husband and my parents are there to support me and watch the children so I can go 3 days a week.  I wish everyone had the opportunity to give crossfit a shot...it's addictive.  One of the 6am crew at Geaux Crossfit was telling me how his wife has banned him from talking about it.  It's such a big part of all of our lives....sometimes we can't help but to share our accomplishments....I know it must get tiring to our loved ones. : )  I can't figure out why Crossfit is so addictive...I guess for many reasons - the results (I feel stronger than I ever have in my life...did I mention my deadlift is 205?), the community (the 6am crew is tight...I am happy to walk in the doors everyday), the competitiveness (with yourself and with others), the trainers (they celebrate our successes right along with us and push us to our potential everyday),  every WOD completed is an accomplishment..something to celebrate.  I could just go on and on.  So yeah, I guess you could say I am pretty sold on the exercise (except for lunges and squats....) 


Food, on the other hand, is another story.  December, December, December....why are you so full of temptations?  Work parties, cookies, candy......The truth is, I love food..like I really love it.  It's not like I have found this new healthy lifestyle and the thought of eating a whole chocolate cake washed down with chocolate milk makes me sick.  Instead, it makes me salivate...just one taste would be so good.

So, how do I stay focused on the goal?  It is not easy.  I know one thing.  On the days I go to Geaux Crossfit and exercise, I am mentally stronger and don't have to fight the urge to give into temptation.  I don't know if it is because I can think back on how hard I worked during the WOD in the morning or if it is something to do with endorphins that kicked in because of exercise..those days are just easier.

But really, when I think about paleP and Crossfit, I am thinking lifestyle change - not temporary solution to reach my goal.  Because what is going to happen when I reach my goal?  Am I going to just start eating whatever I want?  This diet and exercise has to be a lifestyle for me. 

So, I've been struggling with the idea of a "cheat."  I think I have to be okay with cheating once in awhile even if it will make me take longer to get to my goal.  I am not talking about eating a whole cake or even a piece of one.  I am talking about a  piece of chocolate...or some popcorn...something without gluten  I am won't go into the details about how long gluten stays in your body and how hard it is to reset yourself once you have it... (see http://www.robbwolf.com/ for that information).  For me, I know that gluten is what makes me feel like crap.  I cannot do it to myself.

On January 14, Geaux Crossfit is hosting a nutrition seminar that focuses on the Paleo diet.  Whole9 will be presenting - they are Paleo eating gurus who travel around the country teaching people about nutrition.  I am hoping I can go and talk with them some about cheating.  I just cannot believe there are people out there who eat Paleo and never eat outside of the diet again.....in my mind, that is just not realistic (even for someone like Robb Wolf).  Can't wait to hear what they have to say!!

Want to attend the Whole9 workshop in Baton Rouge on January 14?  Go to http://www.eventbee.com/v/whole9geaux. 

Days 247 - 251 aka Weigh in and Celebrations

Running, running, running.......

Today was weigh in day and I lost 2 pounds bringing my total to 81 pounds!  That means I have 19 more pounds to lose by January to meet my goal...yikes!

Last week I was so upset with myself...I didn't even take the time to celebrate my successes:

1. For the first time since starting Geaux Crossfit, when everyone ran their 2 warm up laps around the building, I was able to keep up with the group!  Normally it would be everyone else.......and then me about a 1/2 lap behind.  It sounds like such a little thing but I seriously almost started blubbering like a fool.

2. I went down a band during pull ups!  When I started, I couldn't do a pull up at all - i did "jumping" pull ups.  A few weeks ago I went from that to using a red band (the largest) and a green band (the second largest).  Earlier this week, Amber pointed out that it looked like pull ups were coming a little too easy for me so I tried doing it with the red band and the purple band (the third largest) and I could do it!! (barely).  I do not think that it was a coincidence that on the very next day, the WOD just happened to end with 32 pull ups....haha...thanks Amber!

3. Today I did a girl push up for the first time!  I usually go all the way to the floor and then use my arms to go back up...but this time I was able to do a complete push up (from my knees).  I know I still have a long way to go but I left the WOD this morning feeling strong!!

This week has been great - I feel strong...and I am talking core strong...and I feel focused and healthy.  I think my mindset is beginning to shift from focusing on weight loss to focusing on getting stronger and stronger.  Did I mention that today we had to do Dead lift- heavy set of 5.  I did 5 reps at 205 pounds!!

Days 241 - 246 aka Complete Disappointment

Today I let myself down.  And my family down.  And Amber down.  I am so incredibly disappointed.....

Post Cheat Disappointment (and headache)

I had a great Paleo Thanksgiving and family weekend.  I was so proud of myself -  I felt great and strong and healthy.  Then Lucas got sick and Jason got sick and Abby got sick.  I had a huge list of things I planned to do during this long weekend and life got in the way....I didn't have a chance to go grocery shopping or prepare paleo meals.  This morning I got a call from my dad letting me know that my mum had to go to the hospital - she got the stomach virus that we had all had and it hit her harder then everyone else.  (shes back home and feeling much better now).  My dad asked if I could come and relieve him so he could get some rest.  I went right there without thinking about grabbing some snack items. After a few hours I was starving and tried the hospital cafeteria - the choices were fried chicken, onion rings, french fries or pizza.  I knew that would make me sick so I got a coffee and headed back to my mum's room.

By the time I got home, I was exhausted and starving.  Since there was no food in the house (Sunday mornings are my usual grocery shopping time) Jason ordered some pizza for him and the kids. 

It has been 8 months since I have sat down and intentionally ate a plate full of carbs.  But I just caved.  I ate the pizza.  And not just one slice....I ate some and went back for seconds.  It wasn't even that great.  But I was stressed and tired and, I guess, looking for some comfort food....I fell back into my bad eating habits just like that. 

I forgot about the bad headaches I used to get....I wasn't even finished eating and I was already feeling the consequences.  Even now, hours later, my head still feels like it is going to explode.  So basically being weak and caving in to the temptation ruined me for the rest of the day.  I was short tempered with the kids because I didn't feel good and I still didn't prepare for the week the way I should have.

I know it is all a learning experience and I will move on and blah blah blah...but the truth is. ...I am scared.  What's going to happen the next time I am in a stressful situation?  This all just reconfirms my feelings about food being an addiction.  I fell off the wagon and am terrified about how easy it was for me to justify the cheat to myself....it was a rough day...But the thing is,  there is no justification.  I had a moment of weakness and the food, along with some old habits, won.

It is the time we are supposed to be giving thanks.  I am thankful that tomorrow is almost today.  I am ready to be done with this day, pick up the pieces, and start over.