June 12 - 17 aka 114 - 119 aka a high high and a low low



About 6 years ago, before we were married, Jason took me to Clarks Creek to go hiking...it's only about an hours drive from Baton Rouge and is really, really beautiful - there are a series of waterfalls you can hike to and then swim and relax in....I remember when we went I was nervous that I would be super out of breath or sweaty but I was excited to go...I packed a big picnic lunch and we headed off!  The hike down to the first waterfall wasn't bad...it is a series of steep hills going down...down...down...some are so steep that they built big staircases to go down.  I remember getting to the first waterfall and being too worried about the walk back up to the parking lot to even really enjoy it.  The hike back was even worse than I imagined.  I was so out of breath...my back and legs hurt...there was a point when I told Jason I was afraid we would need to call the paramedics.  I truly didn't think I would make it back up to the top.  Well I eventually did make it...but we never went back.  I don't have any photos from the trip.  I tried my best just to forget about it.



A perfect moment



But for some reason yesterday we decided to go and bring the kids....it had been raining the night before so it wasn't quite as hot as it has been.  We wanted to do something different...so we picked up my dad to join us on the adventure...and hit the road!

It was really almost magical...we hiked down to the first waterfall and the kids LOVED it!  the water was ice cold and it felt amazing.  I was a little nervous about the hike up but the kids helped distract me....eventually it was time to head back up the steep hills to the parking lot.  Now I will admit there were times I felt winded...but NOTHING like before.  In fact, most of the way back I was carrying a 35 pound weight - LUCAS!  If the kids weren't with us, I would have begged Jason to continue on....its moments like those where I am so proud of myself....I felt so strong!  I woke up this morning feeling fine - but poor Jason woke up with achy legs! 

I could have done better

But...this week has not been full of accomplishments.  I feel myself slipping.....it has been 17 days since Geaux Crossfit's paleo challenge has been over.  With each day I catch myself making more and more allowances....a little hummus...creamer in my coffee....just one bite of frozen yogurt...a few fries...a sip (or, in my case, gulp) of diet coke...I know I am losing control of my eating...Kelly P. was on vacation last week and I was out of town for work and I leave on Thursday for another work trip...as soon as I am out of my routine I start to get more and more relaxed with my diet.  My body is feeling it too...I am tired..I feel agitated...my stomach's upset...ugh.  I finally got to go back to Geaux Crossfit on Friday and I felt like I didn't give it 100%.  I left feeling disappointed in myself...it is like a vicious cycle...my routine gets screwed up..my eating and exercise gets more relaxed...I start feeling blah...and it becomes harder and harder to break out of the cycle.  The cycle of my life.  I have had success dieting before..but something always happens that throws me off course.

This time I have got to fight it.  I want to feel strong and proud.  I want to be able to hike with my kids..to show them what healthy living should look like. 

Spaghetti Squash

I have probably overly prepared for next week - boiled eggs, turkey bacon, spaghetti squash, paleo stew.. I know the key to my success in planning out EVERY meal...especially if I leave for NYC on Thursday....

I know I write about Geaux Crossfit and how amazing it is..but seriously.  On Friday I told Amber what was going on with my diet and struggle.  She has been doing the strict paleo thing for 45+ days now - with the gym's first paleo challenge and now she's in the middle of the second paleo challenge.  I know she wants a break.  She told me that she would stand by my if I want to start strict again on August 1.  She would do it too and we could hold each other accountable.  I am just so truly, truly thankful...I never thought that it would be a gym that would change my life.  Geaux Crossfit is not only changing my life, it is saving it.  Seriously.

I had a check up with my doctor last week - she was amazed with my weight loss...she asked me why now?  After years of her telling me how important it was to lose weight, why did it suddenly click in my head?  I think she was surprised when I told her it was the gym I have been going to....

I get my blood work results back tomorrow - she checked my insulin, cholesterol, etc to see my improvements.  I cannot wait to find out! 

A contstant struggle

This is all a struggle..a difficult struggle.  I feel like you hear success stories - about people losing all kinds of weight...but it rarely talks about the struggle. I am ready to get back on the right path....tomorrow HAS to be a better day!