Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What have I gotten myself into?

Last night was insane.  I think I had two panic attacks driving to the gym and burst into tears while talking to my very supportive (even though he thinks I am crazy) husband.

So, I meant to arrive at Geaux Cross Fit early but I had to make a pit stop.  I was so nervous that I had to stop at a drugstore to get some antacids...stress causes me some major heartburn.

I arrived and spent a few minutes hyperventilating in my car before going in.  I saw people coming and going and guess what?  No one was fat...it was a nightmare.  Everyone was what I anticipated: fit and tan....again..why do those go together?  If I lose enough weight will I become tan?

I am very proud to say that I did it.  I worked up enough nerve to go through the door.  The first person I saw was Catherine, the best trainer a girl could hope for.  If I didn't know she was in there, ready to support me, I probably would have chickened out.

Now this gym, is not your typical set up - cardio area, weights, etc.  There were some rowing machines, weights, medicine balls, and that what looked to me like an adult jungle gym.  There was no place for me to go hide so that no one could see me work out.  Catherine explained to me that there is a different workout every single day and everyone does the same thing, just modified for your fitness level.  This. Scares. Me.  But I haven't even started that exercise yet.

Catherine took me through what they call baseline.  It is a series of exercises that I do while she times me.  Every month or so I can go back to do this same exercise routine and check on my progress based on time.  It started with the rowing machine...I was basically out of breath by just trying to figure out how to get my big butt on the little seat and strap my feet in without falling off.  Then I had to do my LEAST favorite thing in the world (I think I would rather be forced to eat a big pile of sh#t).... Squats!  Ugh..I hate them.  I know I can't do them right so I look like a f#cking idiot when I try and they hurt me in places that don't want to be hurt.  Why can't I set my butt down and keep my body straight?  I just don't get it.  From there I had to do sit ups, modified and modified again push ups (as in I couldn't do it the normal way or the girlie way so I had to do it the fattie way) and modified, modified and modified again chin ups (meaning I feel badly for everyone who saw me attempt them).  Catherine led me through this routine to show me how to do each thing.  This introduction was enough to make me want to grab the puke bucket (yes the gym has a puke bucket in case you push yourself just a little too far).  Then she told me it was time to exercise!  Ugh!  So I went through the whole routine and honestly gave it my best.  Here's the thing, if I am doing something that takes me away from spending time with my kids than I sure as heck better give it my 100%.  Well, that and the fact that Catherine was watching my every move and I didn't want her to get annoyed.

So I did it - I did the rowing until Catherine told me to stop and the squats that I hate more than anything and all the extra exercises and just when I thought I was going to collapse, I was done!  And here is the most embarrassing part...I had only exercised for like 10 minutes!  Oh jeez...I cannot believe it.

When that was over and I was able to control my breathing so I could hear what was going on around me, I met with another employee..I can't remember her name because I was too busy trying to concentrate on breathing so my face was no longer purple.  She went over their website and explained that everyone at the gym has a login where you put your exercise for the day and list everything you eat.  The gym follows the Paleo Diet or hunter/gatherer diet where you actually only eat what the hunter gatherers of the past ate - lean meats, eggs, veggies, fruits and nuts.  That means...gulp..no dairy (does that really include cheese and ice cream) and no bread (even garlic bread???).  She recommended a book to read, The Paleo Solution which I am very happy to report is available on Nook.  I started reading it last night - it is very interesting.  I will give a better review once I read more.....

So, here's the thing.  I know this all sounds radical - the crazy, non-traditional exercise and the crazy, non-traditional (at least in this time period) diet (ahem..I mean eating lifestyle) but I really feel like I am ready.  Sure I woke up and needed my husband to help me out of bed because my body felt like it got hit by a truck...not to mention the fact that I literally had to pee standing up today because I couldn't get on and off of a toilet without help...but I did it.  I made it through the work out.  The highlight for me (besides actually showing up for the appt.) was the fact that I did like 20 sit ups.  My daughter has been asking me to show her what a sit up looks like because they do them in her gymnastics class...but I have been too scared to try in front of her.  I didn't think I could do one.  Catherine, the lovely and supportive trainer, convinced me to try. I tried and I succeeded!

To all you other overweight 30 something women out there...I know it is so hard to be the fattest person in the gym....but I think you should give it a shot.  Come join me at Geaux Cross Fit - believe me, when you walk in, you will know which one is me because I stick out like a sore (or at least fat) thumb...here's the thing.  I am sick of being the fattest person in the room no matter where I am....I am sick of immediately looking at every crowd that I see searching for someone fatter than me.  I am sick of being afraid that today is the day I am going to wake up to my children realizing I am the fattest mom out of all of their friends.  So please, join me at my new gym or another gym that has trainers to give you the individual attention we so desperately need in order to exercise effectively.  Truthfully, if Catherine wasn't there I would not know that today, when I go home, I can show Abby how to do a sit up.  That is incentive enough for me!

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