Thursday, April 14, 2011

Day 25...the final countdown!!!..and no not another pity party...

yummy breakfast

crazy lunch

Well today was a good day...breakfast involved steak from earlier in the week and some watermelon.  Now I totally get that, in order to lose weight, I have to limit my intake of fruit.  But, I have decided that being healthy is most important and there is no way that I am going to feel bad about eating something as delicious as watermelon.  I know it has a high sugar content...but it also has lots of vitamin a and, since I live in South Louisiana and it is the beginning of watermelon season..I will splurge off and on and not feel guilty about it.

Lunch was a mess - for some reason neither Kelly P. nor I planned it out well and it basically consisted of us scraping the tupperware for the week to make a meal.  It filled us up though and kept us on Paleo.

Today is Thursday so we had Abby's gymnastics and out to dinner.  We went to Chilis and before we ate, I looked up their no dairy and no gluten menus and compared them to get something as Paleo as possible.  I ended up getting the chicken and green chile soup without rice.  It was tasty and had chunks of avocado and cilantro in it. I then had the dry rub ribs with now bbq sauce.  I ordered half a rack and ate half of that so I could bring the rest home to Jason.  I got it with broccoli instead of fries...I sent it back once because it was they just took it out of the fridge.  Then they brought it back and, for some reason, it was covered in salt...I ended up not eating it.

Okay, I am going to write another thought I have been having that will again confirm my insanity but it is something that happens to me every time I lose weight.... I have lost about 16 pounds so far and I feel like I look worse than I started.  I get it....before I started I did everything I could do to avoid my body...but now I am super critical...looking in the mirror constantly, weighing myself at least once (usually closer to three) times a day....comparing myself to others.  It just sucks.  I try very hard to not have those "why did I ever allow myself to get this way" or "I am fat and sad and want to give up" moments but it can be hard...really, really hard.  I know there will come a time when I look in the mirror and congratulate myself for my hard work...but I also know that will not be for a really, really long.  We don't have cable in my house so I haven't watched must tv in awhile.  We used to watch Biggest Loser (while eating brownies) and I decided the other night to watch the the first episode of this new season online.  It was really emotional for me.  I pretty much cried through the whole thing...I am those people.  There story is mine in so many ways.  I just know that I got to get myself in shape because, more than anything, I do not want to be a mother/daughter Biggest Loser team with abby....I want her to have a chance for a healthy life and I know I can only do that by leading one myself.  This is my motivation...this has to be my focus or I may feel defeated....

chilis dairy and gluten free soup is yummy


  1. Keep it up! be kind to yourself. I always find the Biggest Loser emotional too. It's inspirational being willing to change and to work so hard. You are teaching your children lessons about food but also about perseverance and flexibility.

  2. B,
    I am so proud of you. Losing weight is a very difficult thing (and you know I can relate) and 16 lbs is no small feat. You're beautiful, strong, intelligent, funny and unique.

  3. 16lb is AWESOME Bethany! I know what you mean about getting on the scale and looking in the mirror and feeling that way...but keep it up. Always remember that gaining the weight didn't happen overnight, or even in 30 days. And some days are always going to be more difficult than others. You should always remember, though, to give yourself credit for the accomplishments you have made. YOU CAN DO IT!!!

    That show is always emotional for me too.

    And hey, thanks to your inspiration I dragged Z's high chair into the kitchen yesterday and made her and our healthy, preservative-free, dinner while she watched and snacked on a healthy banana.

  4. Also, lady, don't forget that the 16 lbs of scale weight you lost includes muscle you have BUILT aka strength gained. You will keep making so much progress if you give it time!

    PS: In the spirit of inspiration, I wanted to link you to a before and after of my friend Rosemary after 6 months of CF and Paleo. She looks AMAZING in this picture and she's progressed even more since then. I know it's hard especially when these workouts are so grueling and it seems like you'll never see the effects, but you will. So keep it up girl!

  5. I know where you're coming from - I've lost 80 pounds and often I'll look at my body with what feels like more loathing than ever before. It's because I'm SO close and yet the remains of obesity-past is still there. It's because we're facing our weaknesses, confronting them in the most aggressive way possible (crossfit and paleo YAY!). It's because now I am AWARE of my body's weaknesses and jelly-deposits, so I want them gone today.

    Just breathe, walk away from the mirror and push forward. Enjoy your meals because they are tasty and the WODs because (in some sick fashion) they're fun. One day we'll be staring directly at the finish line :D